David Douce: A CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

Have you been involved in an Annunciation? Was it the Angel’s fault?

Slipped on a marble floor when surprised by a sudden angelic apparition?

Involved in a disputed paternity case? Struggling with census forms?

Need to prove virginity?

Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh, Solicitors, can help.

Operating on a no-miracle, no-fee basis, we will assemble the facts of your case, add some myths, and create an absurd but convincing story.

Don’t take our word for it – we’re solicitors after all. Read the testimonials from our clients –

Three Kings, from Orient, say ‘Our alleged stalking, when in fact we just happened to be going the same way as the Star, was dismissed thanks to G F & M. God bless them.’

Mr. S., member of a farmer’s co-operative, says ‘I was accused of failing to watch my sheep, in accordance with DEFRA 897/5/2 para 18 subsection 8 & 9, while seated. G F & M produced evidence of glory being shone around, and I was awarded compensation and tidings.’

Premier Inns say – ‘G F & M established that over-booking is acceptable practice in the leisure trade, and provision of accommodation of a lower standard than originally booked may be allowed, notwithstanding the double-booking of the stable with a troupe of talking animals.’

NHS Midwifery Service say – ‘Pressure on swaddling services, especially during periods of high demand, results in some services being less than optimal, but the use if the term ‘meanly’ was considered to be unjustifiable. But lessons have been learnt, and a new layer of management installed.’

And remember, G F & M aren’t just there for annunciations and Christmas.

Mr. P.P. – a Roman Governor – says ‘ I was held liable for misuse of scaffolding, but G F & M washed my hands of all liability.’

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